she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
