return my video game
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
