I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She just used a chaser for red wine.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
