I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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