awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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