i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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