there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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