You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Holy sore nipples Batman
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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