yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
