i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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