Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize