i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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