So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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