What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize