Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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