Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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