Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
