escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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