butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
are you so shy because you have an std?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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