on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize