Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
