They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
