Umm I'm too high to move.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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