this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
