A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
