Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
