There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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