Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
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