I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Drunk is not a location!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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