I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize