I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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