wanna go halves on a baby?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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