I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
