thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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