At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
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