...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
