i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
