Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize