i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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