i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
