either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
