I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
