Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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