i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize