thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My vagina just clenched in fear
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