Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
