we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize