yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
