omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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