listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
