That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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