the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
