That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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