Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
