I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
