Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
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