i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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