how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
