What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
