I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
