I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize