a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
