I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
