I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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