pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
