I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
