I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
