Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
