i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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