its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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