I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
