I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
