I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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