is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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