Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
