Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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