Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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