So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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