the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
