I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
