I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
