Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize