so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just high enough for therapy.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
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